One Chapter in my life closes

Sunday, 23 july 2006

Yesterday, I finally met up with K to close our joint bank account. I had been trying to speak to him since April about it. Initially, I had wanted to be friendly and still keep in touch as normal friends would and maybe to broach the subject tactfully and gently in one of our conversations.

Alas, it was not to be so. Perhaps it was a stroke of fate, because he was expecting it, or because of his own personal reasons, K decided to hide from me; not picking up any of my many phone calls (maybe once a week, or once a fortnight over the last 3 months), not replying my smses or my e-mails.

Until one fine day, my temper came to a boil and I snapped. I wrote him a very strongly worded e-mail which reflected exactly how I felt. I was angry, hurt and totally frustrated at his behavior. It took the e-mail being re-sent a few times before he deigned to reply. Why was he behaving this way, when all that has happened was simply, what he said he wanted in the first place?

He didn’t want us to continue as a couple and to stop doing all the stuff that we used to do together.
He wanted me to move on with my life.
He wanted us to remain friends.
And he got exactly that.

And then, he had to avoid me like the plague when I finally got it in my mind to move on. It was so transparent that he was avoiding me, although he said he wasn’t. I shouldn’t have asked really. Why ask a question when you know the answer but the words you hear will be a denial?

When we were at the bank, he was sniffing away and rubbing his nose. Normally, I am the one with the sensitive nose and flu prone. K is rarely ever so. I don’t know if I was being oversensitive, but he kept refusing to look at me. Maybe he was feeling sad, but I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t really share his thoughts and feelings with me anymore. I no longer know.

Anyway, we closed the account and divided the assets between us. I asked him if he wanted the sapphire + diamond ring back. He asked me to keep it. He asked me if I wanted the steel latch-ring back and I said it wasn’t the same. The steel ring was interesting but still costume jewellery. The sapphire ring was a very expensive item. In the end, he kept the steel ring and I kept the sapphire ring.

We walked out of the bank and K ran off, saying that his bus was coming. And without much fanfare, what was possibly my most serious relationship to date has finally come to an end. No more loose ends to tie-up.

Still, I spent half the day indoors, mopping up the tears that I thought had run dry. Perhaps, I still needed to mourn the relationship. For 6 months, the joint account was the only thing tying the two of us together. Closing it was like knocking in the last few nails to a coffin.

Of course, I know that life still goes on and, tomorrow will be another day.

The brown saga continues

The PR disaster is not letting up. It has in fact, gone overseas and slowly gaining momentum still.

The newspaper reply From K Bhavani, Press Secretary to the Minister, MICA on Mr Brown’s (mb) article and the subsequent suspension of his weekly Today satirical column on Friday continues.

It looks as though bloggers are making themselves heard, in the WWW, in the Global Media, if not in Singapore. I’ve already lost count of the comments of the bloggers on his blog. Technorati is also buzzing with postings on this incident. Needless to say, one search through Google and you’ll be literally lambasted. I suppose the 3 most “mainstream articles” online that I could find would probably be these 3.


http://www.globalvoicesonline.org/2006/07/06/government-protests-bloggers-column/

http://www.asiaone.com.sg/a1news/20060706_story7_1.html

http://www.rsf.org/article.php3?id_article=18208


Anyway, if mb does come up with the brown Tur Kwa T-shirts, I will definitely buy a few.

Here is a comic drawn by a blogger. So apt.

http://seijieiga.blogspot.com/2006_07_01_seijieiga_archive.html

And of course... the now famous... "Silent Nation" video by ms cloudywind, with Louis Koo as who else, mr brown.

TODAY has suspended mr brown's column

Poor Mr Brown, I just read about his suspension from his blog. This is such a nightmare!

Golly, from all the comments and blogs out there, the Singapore Blogosphere has well and truly exploded! TODAY and K Bhavani has sent out their non-committal replies to the responses of bloggers and/or ordinary Singaporeans.

Here are the excerpts:-


The reply from TODAY

Dear [ ]

Thank you for your feedback. We will not be publishing any correspondence on this issue. Shoud you feel strongly, you may want to wish to redirect your views to the source of the letter.

With regards.
[ ]
editorial assistant
did: [ ]
fax: 6534 4217
news desk: 6236 4888
email: [ ]@newstoday.com.sg



and here is the reply from MICA/ K Bhavani

Dear []

Thank you for your feedback.

Mr Brown gave his take on several issues in his column last week. I responded, on behalf of the Government, to his column as it was necessary to address these issues.

Yours sincerely
Bhavani

K BHAVANI
Press Sec To Minister and Director, Corporate CommunicationsDepartment
Organisation Management Division
Ministry of Information, Communications and the Arts
6837 9865 6 6837 9837
www.mica.gov.sg

Creative People, Gracious Community, Connected Singapore

Needless to say, the blogosphere exploded.
The blackout in the newspapers, the Mr Brown column's suspension and the non-committal replies have made many bloggers angry at the government and MICA, especially Ms Bhavani in particular. Even the MICA tagline has been lambasted.

Some have accused the government of not practising what they preach.

I see that the voices of dissent on the internet are building and growing in momentum. Valid comments from concerned people have not been published (the irate and nonsensical ones, pls ignore) and therefore things are likely to build up. Unhappiness at the government, in seemingly unrelated issues will all be sucked into this quagmire if some big shot doesn't stand up to quell them in a sensitive and decisive manner. Preferably quickly too.

Otherwise, the 4 million smiles campaign may end up as 1.332 million frowns, 1.668 million "bo chaps"/"no choice" straight faces and 1 million "I am service personnel /Civil Servant" smiles lacking in sincerity.

God forbid that we have another "NKF saga" right before the Annual Meetings of the IMF & World Bank Governors. Horrendous, horrendous. I actually see the analogy here.

"What started out as an article on golden taps became a scandal over CEO remuneration and corporate governance that brought Singapore's Richest Charity to its knees."

"What started out as a satire on Singapore life could just become a tipping point for the unhappiness of "downtrodden","stressed out" overworked" citizens leading to [your guess is as good as mine]."

Oh my, what a tangled web we weave. MICA should have left the Friday article well enough alone. The reply highlighted the "Mr brown" article 100 fold and started the backlash that is now continuing to snowball. The invisible hand is no longer invisible and I see resentment and hear it too.

There are many ways MICA ccould have handled the matter. A discussion, an official letter to the editor/mr brown etc. Instead, they chose one of the most high-handed and public ways. So ugly. Such a PR disaster.

poor mr brown

Whoa, the SG blogosphere is well and truly alive this last 2 days over the MICA reply to the usual Friday article by Mr Brown. Well, I guess nothing I can write can beat the comments and the associated sites (check out the youtube movie in the comments section) being added to Mr Brown's blog. Go read it yourself.
http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2006/07/letter_from_mic.html#comments

This is his article that drew the ire of the SG gahmen, or more specifically, MICA.
http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2006/07/today_sporeans_.html

TODAY papers and MICA have yet to make any replies as I make this posting although it seems pretty clear that they would have been flooded with replies, both reasonable and irate from readers, bloggers and SGeans alike. Interesting is it not, the way the media in SG is able to make blackouts like this? Sometimes, it is for a good reason. I hope an important lesson and realization comes out of this.

I'm just sitting here observing the happenings with interest.
I am like many of the multitudes of people, affected by the price increases.
I am thankful that unlike many others, I am able to weather the increases better but I guess I am not really happy about it.

Which is why I totally empathize with mrbrown.

PS. Mr Miyagi has added the video in his blog. Bloggers are so inventive... and quick!

Under the weather, followed by a big fight.

My body decided to give up on me last Saturday. I ended up with a major migraine and nausea. I couldn't eat. I ate merely a few bites of my dinner, a painkiller and water, all of which I promptly threw up along with the vile tasting contents of my stomach. Oh well, let's look at the silver lining in this. At least I'll be losing a little bit of weight. It may not be the best way, but it sure is pretty effective,

I couldn't even play with my baby niece as much as I wouldd have liked. All my body wanted to do was sleep and my brain felt literally as though it was being hacked into pieces. I was tossing and turning, trying to sleep, while at the same time, the pain prevented me from sleeping. At last, I managed to sleep... only to wake up to an argument in the morning with no.4 sister.

I wonder, was I ever as selfish as her? Granted, there were many days when I felt bitter and unappreciated, and probably many many days in my youth when I was unhappy and self-centred. I still feel that way occasionally but most days... when I am not bitching about it, I'd feel pretty okay about myself. No.4 sister was complaining that our parents didn't want her in the house. She claimed that they were always trying to get rid of her or yelling at her to do things (household chores) while they would never yell at sister no.5 when the chores are her duty. She accused the family members of favouritism, of liking no.5 sister better.

That got me pretty irritated. Sister no.5 is generally a nicer person than sister no.4. Also, No.5 has to tolerate the antics of our plenty unreasonable parents (and siblings!) more often than the rest of us. No.4 really had no right to say such things. There she was, accusing others of favortism when she ... herself was VICTIMIZING someone else.

So in my usual blunt way, I told no.4 that well, she wasn't adding value to any of their lives. She was too calculative and did only the bare minimal and when doing even the minimum, she MUST make at least ONE sarcastic comment at the parents or no.5 in the process. That is why she isn't well liked.

Of course, that was a hugely bad decision. No.4 blew up big time after she heard this. Well, I told her that she was slapping herself. ON the one hand she was advising me not to be so sour about having to support the parents when she doesn't do it herself. And not to expect them to appreciate my sacrifices. And on the other hand, she was being sour just because the parents ask her to do some housework? And because of some yelling and measly housework... she is telling me she is unappreciated?? Duh?? Herrow... your double standards very funny-lah. I am sometimes unhappy over a real situation. One that affects my pocket long term and my future and there you are, griping about housework? Poadah! Why don't you just finish the stupid chore and people will stop yelling at you??

Her retort was that well, not all the laundry was hers and so why should she be doing it. And my retort was to list out all the times when she was young that I had to wash and iron her clothes, as well as clean toilets during my breaks from Uni. Why did I do it? because if I didn't, she wouldn't do it either and she knew it and her dirty laundry will pile up and what I didn't say was ... she will end up wearing no.5's uniform because she didn't have any clean ones left! I kept my mouth shut on that one because it will only set her off.

She came back with the retort that she never complained if I forgot, because it wasn't my duty to do her personal chores for her and that her issue with everyone is that they make negative assumptions about her character. And I was like? Herrow, people make assumptions about your character based on YOUR OWN PAST ACTIONS. No.4 is generally a slob who doesn't clean up after herself. I still occasionally have to do her laundry for her in the rare times when I go home. She does have a tendency to mess up the room and toilets and THAT"S the reason why people think she is responsible for messing up the house.

How's about that? A blow by blow account of an argument with a sister. Needless to say, in terms of facts, I won... I always do... and that makes no.4 more defensive and unwilling to listen to me. It was a bad decision overall... but I guess, with the remnants of a headache, I was tired of no.4's whinging and I went for the jugular. I'll admit it, my horrendously bad temper and sharp tongue could have been held back a bit more. I guess I was frustrated at no.4's blanket accusations.

Anyways, I told no.3 about the matter. No.3 agreed with me as well and we spent a good part of the day cheering me up with the cute antics of the baby niece. God, I love the baby. :)