One Chapter in my life closes

Sunday, 23 july 2006

Yesterday, I finally met up with K to close our joint bank account. I had been trying to speak to him since April about it. Initially, I had wanted to be friendly and still keep in touch as normal friends would and maybe to broach the subject tactfully and gently in one of our conversations.

Alas, it was not to be so. Perhaps it was a stroke of fate, because he was expecting it, or because of his own personal reasons, K decided to hide from me; not picking up any of my many phone calls (maybe once a week, or once a fortnight over the last 3 months), not replying my smses or my e-mails.

Until one fine day, my temper came to a boil and I snapped. I wrote him a very strongly worded e-mail which reflected exactly how I felt. I was angry, hurt and totally frustrated at his behavior. It took the e-mail being re-sent a few times before he deigned to reply. Why was he behaving this way, when all that has happened was simply, what he said he wanted in the first place?

He didn’t want us to continue as a couple and to stop doing all the stuff that we used to do together.
He wanted me to move on with my life.
He wanted us to remain friends.
And he got exactly that.

And then, he had to avoid me like the plague when I finally got it in my mind to move on. It was so transparent that he was avoiding me, although he said he wasn’t. I shouldn’t have asked really. Why ask a question when you know the answer but the words you hear will be a denial?

When we were at the bank, he was sniffing away and rubbing his nose. Normally, I am the one with the sensitive nose and flu prone. K is rarely ever so. I don’t know if I was being oversensitive, but he kept refusing to look at me. Maybe he was feeling sad, but I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t really share his thoughts and feelings with me anymore. I no longer know.

Anyway, we closed the account and divided the assets between us. I asked him if he wanted the sapphire + diamond ring back. He asked me to keep it. He asked me if I wanted the steel latch-ring back and I said it wasn’t the same. The steel ring was interesting but still costume jewellery. The sapphire ring was a very expensive item. In the end, he kept the steel ring and I kept the sapphire ring.

We walked out of the bank and K ran off, saying that his bus was coming. And without much fanfare, what was possibly my most serious relationship to date has finally come to an end. No more loose ends to tie-up.

Still, I spent half the day indoors, mopping up the tears that I thought had run dry. Perhaps, I still needed to mourn the relationship. For 6 months, the joint account was the only thing tying the two of us together. Closing it was like knocking in the last few nails to a coffin.

Of course, I know that life still goes on and, tomorrow will be another day.