I haven't blogged here in months.

Hmm, I haven't blogged in this account for months. So why the heck am I still keeping this account? Beats me I guess.

Work has overtaken my whole life. I am struggling to get some balance.

Family wise, things are pretty much ok except for the occasional temper tantrum from my dad. He still thinks he is the "head" of the family, which is kinda pathetic because he is living off everyone else and pretty much is a charity case. His megalomania surprises me. He can drive off with JL's car without nary a word and complain to anyone who'll listen how miserably his daughters treat him... that from a man who's always been self-centered and hasn't done a decent day's work in decades. A man who'll get into debt and expect his family to pay it off. A man who never gave a cent for my education but has the gall to take money from me as if it were an entitlement.

As usual, he will make noise and complain to everyone else... and make life occasionally living hell for everyone... except for me. He does not dare to complain to me simply because if he whines, I have only one way to respond; cut off his allowance. So he toes the line when I am around which is good. Because I think in his heart of hearts... he does know. He just wants to live in denial a little longer instead of facing up to the fact that he is an abject failure.

I thank god that except for the occasional complaint, I have pretty much accepted the reality of being me. The responsibilities and the obligations.

Jubes

Moving on yet again

My life since the last post has taken on a surreal quality to it.

The new job has since become an old one and I am currently looking for a new position. I am really surprised at how people who are seemingly experienced professionals can behave in a way that can only be described as totally nonsensical. There is no closure for me but I will move on as fast as I can without dwelling on stuff.

Oh well, I guess people who dish out don't receive their just desserts well and will do things for petty revenge + whatever odd thing that goes on in their minds. I am not totally innocent. I can be horribly vindictive when wronged but in this situation I have taken the tough decision to be as honorable as poosible.

Personally, I am prone to mood swings but S says that I am merely human and I need time to heal. Drats. And I had thought that insofar as work is concerned, I have become close to superhuman.....

My social life has been reduced to the minimum. Friends have been kind enough to cheer me up but I guess, I do need to mope a bit. Being too strong takes a toll on the spirit.

:)

Updates on my life

Hmmm…. So what has been new in my life?

I FINALLY had a breather at work. I finally had weekends where I could sleep. Of course, it was achieved at a price. I finally blew up at the boss.

Why did I do it? Because I could, and because I decided to mirror his actions that I found offensive, albeit in an unexpected way.

Sighz…. People who dish out at others can’t take their own medicine, and I certainly don’t want to point it out too blatantly.

Of course, it was very childish of me. I had thought I had tamed that unpredictable streak of vindictiveness. Apparently not. Stress + lack of sleep + unreasonable demands + people not keeping their word = release of my wicked doppelganger. MAJOR SIGHS…

And I feel a bit guilty about thinking that well, the shock to the system was well deserved… and I feel guilty about NOT feeling guilty. *gasp* God help me tame this vindictive streak of mine. I scare myself sometimes at my potential for evil. I apologized for the action to the boss of course, I have no excuse, but he got my message that I am not budging on the unreasonable timelines and “arrows” thrown at me in public. What, do I look like a doormat to you?

Of course the same unpredictable streak is also responsible for my bursts of unexpected genius. Whether or not it was acknowledged, I dunno. But I am fully aware that I have saved some arses at work.

My friends ask whether or not I fear for my job… Surprisingly, no. While my actions were childish, they were justified and far more effective than a simple feedback. My OB markers at work have been carved into the hippocampus of my boss.

It helps that money isn’t all that important to me… *gasp!* Could that be true?

Surprisingly yes!!!!! All the years of meticulous planning and saving on my part have given me a safety net.

Go figure. this isn't like me.