How I became a pharisee...

As a child, one of the tales told to me in school was the tale of the Prodigal son. It was one of those tales that had many layers and many perspectives to me as I grew up.

The tale of the Father with the 2 sons, one carefree and impetuous (hence prodigal) while the other one dutiful and legalistic to the extreme (let's call him a pharisee).

When I was young, I could only understand the part about the younger prodigal son. The lesson I learnt then was that our Heavenly Father welcomes back anyone who repents his ways and will meet us halfway in joy.

As I grew up, I started to question the story because I had started to take notice of the perdicament of the other brother, the dutiful one. He was very angry when the Father welcomed back the prodigal son with open arms and a party whilst he felt that he did not receive anything in his dutiful obedience.

I felt for the other brother because I lived my life as a pharisee too. I did the right things, did my duty, fulfilled my obligations as best I could. Tried again and again to do more good although in my heart, there was great anger and resentment.

In short, it was painful drudgery.

Like the pharisee brother, I too could not see that I did not understand the heart of the Father. I was so mired in my responsibilities and the burdens I carried and, my thinking that doing the right thing was the only thing, that I could not recognise the Father's love and that all the trappings of doing good works and outward performance isn't the most important thing.

"Everything I have is yours". That was what the father said. It always was.

It is lesson that I am slowly learning.

We are saved by grace, not by good works.