Interesting day

I am not normally known for being sociable nor hospitable but yesterday was a really interesting day. Unexpected but interesting.

It turned out to be a day that I would spend ministering to others, listening to their grouses, their concerns and their problems.

In the course of doing so, I have realised that my own problems, while very significant, is only ONE thing, in one area even though I feel it permeating into every facet of my life. Every other part of my life is fairly smooth, even with the occasional lumps and bumps along the way.

The day led me to be in a position where I was literally forced to listen to one friend for hours listening to his numerous grouses that I have probably heard many times before. I was made to listen and not try to help, which is pretty hard. Just to listen as he repeats himself over and over, trying not to judge and to smother all feelings of wanting to shake him or slap him to "wake up and smell the roses!"

Something held me back. Maybe it was the holy spirit or maybe it was just a temporary deeper compassion and understanding. So there I was, allowing him to vent, get angry at me, get frustrated and even yell at me in public. I realised how lonely he was. In his pain, he had taken out his frustration on too many people, causing his friends to avoid him. That in turn caused him to think that he had no friends, which was just sad.

Yes, I thought he needed to straighten out his thoughts and his responses but something held my tongue to let him talk it all out. I was pretty certain that by the time he left, he did indeed feel better than he had in a long time.

And that was friend number 1. By then, it was night. I had spent about 6 hours with friend 1 and his pains. I was drained and wanted nothing more than to get home, take a bath and crawl into bed. That was when I noticed friend number 2.

Friend 2 had been texting me through dinner when I was still listening to friend 1. Initially, I had thought that it was merely a normal invitation to dinner and drinks of which I declined because (1) I was already having dinner and serving as punching bag and listening ear, (2) I wasn't keen on meeting friend 2's other friends in a pub or bar and (3)Friend 2 was a very nice boy but we weren't very close.

As the night progressed, the smses turned wierd. I realised that friend 2 was very depressed. He was troubled AND had been sitting in a bar alone for hours. That set off some alarm bells. A young, good-looking 20-something single chap just doesn't sit in a bar for hours... alone. I called him and his overly enthusiastic response about being ok alternated with scary undertones about some girl thing and being a bachelor forever raised up major red flags. I did a quick check with S to see that I wasn't overreacting and promptly took a cab over to the bar to see what was going on.

It ended with 4 hours of "ministering" to friend 2. After 6 hours of being a listening ear cum punching bag to friend 1, I knew that my task for the night was to listen, not to tell, to comfort but not to judge (too much). Oh, I did tell him off on certain things but largely, I let him vent. Thank God for blessing me with sufficient patience. I am not known for it but I was glad to have enough of it.

By the time the conversation ended, it was morning and I trust that friend 2 went home comforted. I just hope he was able to wake up this morning in time for work.

I was happy to be able to be of help to my 2 friends.

Now, all I need to do is to find a way to calm my normally very caring and sweet other half down about why I was hanging out with 2 different guys yesterday.... I had possibly made the mistake of telling him about them. I had thought that he would be proud of me for being a good supportive friend. Instead, he was upset.... because they were both single, available guys maybe?

I need to find a way to get it into his head that he should have no problem with me going out with my friends, even the single guys. I take care to always make sure that he is in the loop about who they were and where we would be. I crave his trust.

To me, it is ironic. If I were to be completely brutally honest, I am not exactly the kind of person that single men would necessarily want to be seen with or have casual dates with. (1) I'm not young anymore (2) I'm fat by asian standards, (3) I've not been spending time and money on clothes and make-up so I do look a little dated and frumpy (4)I'm unemployed and not rich... i.e. NOT your normal potential date material. I am at this moment an unemployed, older version of "Ugly Betty"...

But there you have it, my other-half is upset. possibly jealous and annoyed... for nothing. how to tell him that in a nice loving way is the question.... sighz...